I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook and I stumbled across a stat about relationships. The question was “Why do beautiful women put up with the wackest dudes…?” I thought to my self..then I replied..”This is true…I wonder why too…but my take on it is that some of the most BEAUTIFUL women have low self esteem. And when these men approach them it’s because they are showing their ‘representative’. Some men are real slick with it…especially if the women are baring their soul to them initially.. Most women are craving love so badly that they don’t set standards or even have them for that matter and are looking through rose colored glasses…so when these men come along they sound like a dream..and they do everything to hook the women so when that initial phase is over…the real person comes out..by that time feelings are involved and the woman may look at him as an investment and women most often don’t want to lose investments….there’s more but that is a summation of what I see and hear.. I try to school these young ladies..I have been through it…so I know what it is…my generation barely made it..but I feel sooo sorry for these generations that are coming up…no real solid foundations to hold onto…they are just out to get what they can get..” This also brings me to a video of Tina..one half of the gospel duo, Mary Mary; that has gone viral over the last couple of weeks, See Here. It shows her being caught up in a moment of rage over her husband’s cheating affairs. At first I was judgemental because I couldn’t understand how could someone of that stature air out her dirty laundry on reality tv..after all it’s a little different than some of the other reality shows that I have seen (we’ll save that for another day). The truth is I’m glad that she did because it erases some of the stereotypes that women in the gospel world face in their own personal lives. Most people forget that yet they speak in tongues, and sing you to life; they also deal with some of the same issues that we normal folk deal with. I think the problem of putting them on a pedestal alienates them from having real feelings, real issues, etc. The problem is not having the issue, but the reaction that you have to the issue. Yes we know in church the we are taught to forgive, love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek…but when issues arise do we really seek the face of God? Or do our natural carnal selves kick in? The Bible speaks of having on the full armor of God…but in times of hurt and pain do we really? I think part of the problem is that we as humans are constantly evolving…each generation has its own coping mechanism to the changing systems that preceded them…and setting their own individualism at the same time….it’s the survival of the fittest….All in all in the process of evolution..what happens externally happens internally as well… Perhaps there is a change in “role” dynamics? Are there undercurrents of feminism displayed in the raising of fatherless men? Hence the term “b%$#&a!#ness” ? Or…or is it the Freudian theory that references that men are attracted to women that resemble (features, mannerisms) their mothers, and women are attracted to men that resemble (features, mannerisms) their fathers? Are men and women upholding the standards of their parents? Well what happens if there is lacking on either side of the equation? Is there a missing quotient? Do we just add in the factor that’s missing? Or do we look for examples and mimic them from our “community”
Watching this video, I can actually say that I’ve been there. I’ve been broken down to a level this extreme. Maybe even more extreme. I don’t care how strong you are. If you love a person (think you are in love), then you will go through hell and hell some more. Most women are programmed from a young age to stick by their man, the more you stick by him, he will change.That’s not true unless he wants to change. I can actually say that I don’t have that baggage anymore. I left that type of relationship a long time ago. So any man that I date or have a relationship with in this present day, I will not allow him to break me down to that level. It’s a mutual thing. If you love me and adore me then it is reciprocated wholeheartedly. No games, no half-assed attempts, and no side pieces.
What are your thoughts?
Shanell Monique is a Licensed Cosmetologist with over a decade of experience. She is Editor-in-Chief of Enticing Resultz Magazine, Hair Artist with Glam elite Enterprise, also a Published, Avant-Garde, Freelance Hairstylist, Educator and former Salon Owner of nine years, Nurse for 15 years. For more info read about her Here.