Category Archives: Word to the wize

14Jul/14
BRANDI ANDERSON

Sex Appeal

Sex Appeal is desired by most if not all people. The desire to have someone interested in you sexually is important if you wish to be sexual with them. However, true sex appeal isn’t needed to have sex. Sex Appeal to me is having the ability to capture the attention of someone by your presence. Being drop dead gorgeous or overly handsome isn’t necessary to have Sex Appeal. What is needed, is confidence, strong sense of self, pride in the way you present yourself, and being able to convey who you are to the world without uttering a word. There is a quote by Sophia Loren that states; “Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.”  Think of it like this, when you go shopping, you know what you come into the store for but your eye catches something that attracts you to it. It could be that it is new or it has new packaging. You know nothing of this product but you purchase it anyway in hopes that you will enjoy it because you enjoyed how it was package and it will look nice on your dresser or in your bathroom. You are your own product, how you package yourself is how we all will see you!

Some people are naturally sexy. These people are sexy no matter what they wear. From a glamorous night gown to baggy jogging pants and her favorite T-Shirt, no matter what this woman wears she wears it well. From leaving a business meeting in a nice suit with awesome shoes to finding him under his car in oil stained jeans and boots. He is just as sexy dirty as he is clean. They exude sex appeal! What is important in real Sex Appeal is that you have to find yourself sexy first. Without confidence, you will not appeal to anyone but those who seek to use you. If you happen to attract someone of substance, you can scare them off with your lack of confidence. Find your sexy first so everyone else can find you sexy too!

 

Brandi Anderson

 

 

 

[whohit]sexappeal[/whohit]

 

 

 

 

07Jul/14
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Purpose

Purpose is found in doing; doing the most with living what you were given, being. A true conviction given unto life and a willingness to surrender fulfilling a meaningful existence. Each and every entity has a purpose to live life like a lesson and learn. Allowing God’s love to flow through, becoming the like by which we were created. The right act or process for which we live life in full, enduring as sinless as possible with the least, if any amount of evil at heart. But live righteous and by the laws of the Father, letting your light shine throughout the world. Ones purpose is not to judge but look within and discern one from another and conform not to the world but to the word of God. Boasting not for the things you do but to continue in succession implementing God’s plan and gather from life, knowledge and wisdom to obtain understanding.

[whohit]Purpose[/whohit]

– K.L. Presha’

 

11Jun/14
Brandi N Anderson

Being Whole

     Young women, 18 – 24, will mostly go through life unbothered by the fact that they aren’t married.

Of course the majority of women would love to be in a monogamous relationship but the fact of the matter is we live in an age and time where most men know that we out number them. Moreover, the so called “good catch” knows that he is in high demand and will play the field as long as he can. With that being said, ladies if you are yourself a great catch, why settle with someone who has no ambition or  who has no idea what his needs are? Other than his immediate wants like the newest video game coming out, Jordan gym shoes, fight night…you get the picture. You do not have to settle for a piece of a man to have a man. If you are a woman who has a vision and taking steps to get to that vision, you need a man that is doing the same thing. It is not wrong for you to desire a man that is financially stable, has a career or is going to school to better himself. I do understand that jobs are scarce and that women have climbed the corporate ladder of success quicker than men. I get that, but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept someone who is stuck at a dead end job not wanting to move up within the company because he is comfortable. If he is not willing to better himself, how is he going to be a good husband to you? Now, I am going to say something that may get a few of you upset. Please don’t take it personal but after you read what my opinion is, I want you to think long and hard about the state of relationships, especially in the black community and then I want you to comment with your opinion. Step outside of yourself and look at the women around you. Women, through the course of 40 or so decades have totally taken over as head of household. We did what we had to do to survive, to provide for our children and to pick up where the men left off. Whether it was due to drugs coming in and tearing up our neighborhoods, the need for money resulting in crime and prison time for men, or just plain selfishness of being a man realizing that he is just the father. He planted the seed and he felt welcomed enough to leave, become a rolling stone and plant more seeds wherever he laid his hat. That acceptance of the men playing such small roles in the household has given us a problem that we women have to rectify.

     You can start by truly loving yourself. Stop looking for acceptance from other people, like your family, friends and other peers. I am not saying not to listen to constructive criticism. You should always want to better yourself. But do realize that there is a difference between constructive criticism (positive reinforcement i.e: You have been doing such a great job but I have noticed that you lack in this area. I would like to help you with that) and destructive criticism (negative reinforcement i.e: You are doing great work but don’t work too hard, you will never have your own office in this place.) When you get to a point of loving yourself no matter what people say, you will also realize that you deserve your equal. A man who loves himself and will not allow himself to not be what he should to a woman.

     I have read so many articles and have seen so many talk shows geared to women basically telling us to settle. This cycle must stop and guess what ladies, we are the key to stopping that cycle. If you want the men you date to be of a certain quality, start putting yourself where those men are. Start surrounding yourself with men who have the standards you want. If you surround yourself with men who are impotent in heart,and in life, then trust me when I say, you too will become impotent in heart and in life. Relationships should bring out the best in you, not the worst. Both parties should be happy. Not one sad, and the other feel like they hit the million dollar jackpot.

     A man is to leave his family to start his own family. Not the other way around. How many men move out of their parent’s house to move in with their women? I like the idea of a man having his own place first and if they agree, he leaves his place to move into his ladys’ place if it is indeed better.  Or the both of you getting a place together. Being blunt, stop taking on men who have nothing. We are not teenagers anymore, nor are we in our early 20’s. Most of the women reading this article I gather are in their late 20’s to 40’s. A real man of substance would not even consider dating a woman if he felt that he couldn’t give her the least she deserves. Reserve yourself for a man of substance and integrity. Stop concerning yourself with the thoughts of no one to keep your bed warm at night. Concern yourself with someone who can keep the entire house warm, food in the refrigerator, clothes on his back, gas in the car or money for transportation, and a know how attitude that just in case something doesn’t work out, he will make it work anyway.   Why? Aren’t you doing the same thing? If you can do all of that then why not want that in your mate? Women, you are the prize that God created to help men. To help them build and sustain life. If we were created for them, make him earn you! Don’t give yourself away because you are tired. I truly believe that if you get yourself together, truly become a whole person by yourself, you will indeed attract that whole man. It just will take a bit more patience than what you thought. He will come; in God’s timing He will send you that Ram In the Bush! Just keep working on you!

Brandi N Anderson

[whohit]Being Whole[/whohit]

09Jun/14
ER/Diary

Loyalty Versus Trust

     Someone asked the question: What’s the difference between loyalty and trust?  In the beginning, I thought I had the perfect answer, but after pondering over the question for a couple of days and thinking of different scenarios, I realized the two are quite the same, yet different. Loyalty is defined as faithfulness or devotion to an obligation, commitment or person. Having or showing complete and constant support for someone or something with an unswerving allegiance.Trust is defined as the belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, or effective. Confident expectation of one’s integrity, strength, ability, and surety.

     In reading these definitions, I came to understand that in order for a person to be Loyal, they must first show the qualities of someone who is Trustworthy. So although there is a difference, there are similarities and they go hand in hand. If I am to believe that someone is loyal to me and my purpose, they must show an unquestioning reliance towards me. One should never have to wonder if the job will be done, support will be shown or if someone will be devoted to the cause. Whether it’s a family member, friend or significant other, there should be a sense of loyalty shown. In today’s society, having loyalty is known as being a ride or die type of person, however, most people tend to use this term too liberally. In order to be confident in someone you have to have good reasons, definite evidence, or past experiences that prove they are authentic.  If you can’t trust that a person will be with you through the good, bad and bitter end, they are not worthy of the term LOYAL.

Signed: Loyalty Versus Trust

[whohit]Loyalty vs Trust[/whohit]

09May/14
BRANDI ANDERSON

Insecure Men

 

Being the “fairer” sex, being called insecure isn’t odd for women.  Most of us have been called insecure by a person we’ve dated at least once in our dating life.  However, the renaissance of the woman has given women more confidence in going for what they want and need, not taking no for an answer.  Men on the other hand have become less aggressive with life as a whole and taking on some meek traits that aren’t favorable to what was once known as being a man.  Now before you jump down my throat, I am not talking about all men but I will say that there are plenty of insecure men out in this world and it makes dating hard.

I have dated insecure men before in the past and I have a couple that are friends.  These men are attractive and have no reason to be insecure but just like beautiful women who were made to feel less than by their insecure man, the same has happen to these men.  I try to look back on the relationships with the men I had that were insecure.  I wanted to see if there was anything that I did that made them feel insecure.  One in particular brought about his own insecurities because he was the one cheating.  His mind was playing tricks on him and whenever I went out with the girls, didn’t answer my phone or stayed later at work than planned.  He would think I was out getting him back because that is what he felt he deserved. The other men I dated that were insecure didn’t cheat but they were cheated on and one was an older man.  Men think it is hard to date a woman that has been hurt in the past but I can honestly say men that have been hurt in the past our worse to deal with than women.  Men seem to take it harder, sometimes changing their entire character just to not get hurt again. Some men become less aggressive and don’t assert themselves in a relationship once they have been hurt by women.  (Side Note) Ladies, the words you speak to your man are very, very powerful.  If this man loves and adores you, trust me when I say that you have the power to build him up and to make him think that he is superman.  Don’t be afraid to love him and to puff him up.  Build him up with your words and don’t tear him down with them.

Back to the matter at hand, insecure men.  Ladies, in the beginning of dating we need to ask all of the important questions that we can.  Ask about their dating life and why some relationships ended.  If you two have gotten really close and are seeing a great deal of each other, don’t settle for the “It just didn’t work out” answer.  Try to find out if he has trust issues, pay attention to the signs:

Clingy

Excessive texting or Calling (esp when he knows that you are busy)

Not wanting you to go out

How he handles your male friendships

How he handles your female friendships

His reaction to when you receive a text message or phone call

Him paying more attention to your social media accounts than you do

His need for constant approval from you

When he creates an argument out of nothing

Also when he puts you down

 

The way that I have dealt with insecure men in the past is that I looked at all that I was doing.  I made sure that I wasn’t behaving in a way to make him insecure.  I also reassured him that I was not the last woman he dated and that he should trust me based on my efforts and not something he experienced in the past.  When all else failed, I moved on.  I will not stay in something where there is no trust.  Contrary to popular belief, relationships aren’t built on the foundation of Love but they are built on the foundation of trust.  Love comes later.  Love is an action and much easier to perform than trust.  Think about it.

 

Until next time… Brandi Anderson

 

[whohit]Insecure Men[/whohit]

27Apr/14
Brandi N Anderson

Fear of Success

This is a question that I often ask myself when pondering what it is that I am supposed to be doing with my life. The knowledge and power that is in me does not belong behind a desk working for someone else but instead in the head office of my company as the CEO. I use to think it was procrastination or just laziness but no, I work extremely hard for my company and often times go beyond the call of duty for them. So the only answer I had left to give myself was that I have a fear of success. I’ve heard God tell me to step out on faith many, many times with creating my own company and providing a service that many need but the doubt and uncertainly quickly set in. Fears of things like rejection and failure crippled my process of starting my own thing. The enemy played on those fears consistently enough that I stopped the progress of something almost 7 years ago. Those fears were quieted by God’s confirmation, I heard it so clearly and felt it in my body that it is indeed time to venture out and finish what He started in me 7 years ago. See when God confirms something you must first have to hear it and feel it. Then He will make your steps straight and your hands like His allowing everything that you touch to be made whole and shine like silver. Of course that is if you are in His will. Whatever it is that you do for a living that is making others rich, production line worker, restaurant waitress, sales clerk in a retail store, do not give up on your dreams of being a success story. The owner of the company you work for is a success story so why shouldn’t you be one. I have just a bit of advice for you in trying to get over your fear of success:

-Brandi N Anderson

In First edition of ERM[whohit]success[/whohit]