dairy

Sincerely yours, Unloved

Hello Diary:
The day started off gloomy with gray skies. It looked to me like it was going to rain. Little did I know that a storm was coming? Not in the form of thunder and lightning, but in the form of mouth bashing. I never thought in a millions years that I would be faced with such destruction from a mouth. What do you do when someone you raise decide to do harm to you? Even though you gave the person the world and would go without just so they could have everything needed and want. A mother and daughter suppose to have a bond that could never be broken. No matter the situation, you always suppose to respect your mother. She gave you life and nine times out ten she raised you by herself without help for the father. So as a daughter or son you know what struggles this women endured so that you could have food on the table and clothes on your back.
When it comes to the point where your child talks down about you to everyone they know and everyone believes this child even though he/she is lying about what her mother does. Well with me I just couldn’t take the talking to me like I’m one of the kids on the street anymore. So I took it upon myself to go put him/her in their place. Now it becomes something totally different when something that came of out you puts their hands on you. That is the most hurting feeling that a mother can endure. Especially hurts when no one’s take my side but everyones on the childs side and praises her like she did a good thing. Knowing this hurt so bad that I decided to end my life. What is the point of living when you can not even get respect from your own child. Then the next thing I know that person with whom I thought was on my side turns around and let’s me know that even they are on her side. I’m giving up all hope and decided that it time to go be with my mommy and granny. I feel that will solve my problem and everyone else’s. I feel that I wouldn’t be missed. Then one a day an angel came and set beside me and told me that life has it ups and downs and that giving up would not be a choice for me. That I was needed in this world to help others in my situation over come the feeling of wanting to die. So I decided to take it one day at time and maybe just maybe I wouldn’t feel so down and unwanted. The only way to heal from this is pray and read my bible. It’s been almost a year now and I haven’t spoken to my child since. I tried to kill myself on numerous occasions. I’m still numb to the whole situation. I don’t think I will never be the same. So I decided to live by myself and write this book about how I can never leave the house. To afraid to leave the house because I feel that I wouldn’t be accepted by anyone because of all the lies that were spreaded about me.
Sincerely yours,
Unloved.

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